He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize