Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
