He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
