You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.