Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.