Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?