why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
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You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS