I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM