Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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