fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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