Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
4 words: hood of his car
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
