yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
