mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
