Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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