What a fucking waste of an outfit
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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