yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
