There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
