I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
