I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
