It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
