So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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