Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize