I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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