shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
