"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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