Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
