we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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