Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
