shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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