i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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