my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
