9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize