it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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