I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
