I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
