I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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