He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
