Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
