As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
