Whod you bang
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
