Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
