oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
