i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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