Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
