the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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