We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
