you win again, gameday.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
