You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
