so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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