if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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