I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize