If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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