What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
where are my eyebrows?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
