She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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