i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
