So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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